He shows how the pains from our childhoods can haunt us through life and how we unconsciously (without knowledge) pass these things on from one generation to the next to the next.
What I love about this and Dr Mate's insightfulness is the AWARENESS it raises. If we are so inclined, it gives us the opportunity to blame our parents for the way we are now. But as we have very little control over what our parents did or didn't do, should or shouldn't have done I prefer to look at it more importantly, as it gives us the opportunity to CHANGE the way we are now.
Awareness is knowledge, but knowledge without action is still just awareness...
If something were not missing, we wouldn't become addicted to whatever it is we are addicted to. And today our addictions go way beyond just drugs and alcohol... gambling, sex, attention, shopping, eating, sadness, Facebook even! The list is virtually endless!
With the root causes, we need to accept that sometimes we just aren't going to get that which we needed - either a parent is no longer around perhaps, or a parent simply refuses to acknowledge their part in it? And if we are lucky and we are able to have open, honest communication with a parent, it really isn't like they can unwind the clock to when we were born and start over. We can however hope that through communication, positive change is brought about. But however we spin it, and as things cannot be undone, an emptiness or void of whatever it is, will remain.
And we will continue to try to fill an internal void with external things.
Let's say for instance that the Bible is nothing more than a collection of the writings of extremely wise people, living at different times, coming from different backgrounds and who's insight into humanity is so incredibly great, that some other wise person decided to put it all together in one book that has lasted for centuries. From this perspective the writings in it STILL affect us and reach a part of us that nothing else has or could... our core. No one has ever been able to add one spec of moral, ethical or indeed loving wisdom to it.
Now, let's add God to the mix and we see a "being" who, since the dawn of time, has been trying to lead people in wise and loving ways so that they avoid pain, hurt and anguish. Throughout the entire collection of the Old Testament, we see the ups and downs of humanity. We see where wrongs affect others and separate us from rights. We see how our taking control and being self-willed leads to destruction. We see a path that if we had followed it, would have lead us to safe places and, for instance, not kept us in a wilderness for 40 years.
Now, let's add Jesus. Why did Jesus come? Why add Him to the mix? Quite simply put, because we have a proven track record of not being able to do or achieve things, the things we innately desire and need, on our own. We, in spite of all our best efforts, cannot fill that internal void that has been passed down from generation to generation to generation for as far back as you can possibly go.
In my own life, I know four generations of women who have been passing down the very same dysfunctional behaviour to the next generation. The elder seems aware yet just accepts it, the next is aware of some dysfunctionality in her mother that she didn't like so made some changes in some areas, but escalates the rest, the next daughter does the same, and so on. This has probably gone on in many past generations which are no longer here. And sadly it will probably go on like this UNTIL someone in the line changes things and fills that void.
Without adding Jesus to the mix, we are still left void, trying to do this on our own. If Jesus had not come, He would not have died, risen and been able to send us the helper... the Holy Spirit.
It is the Holy Spirit which actually resides inside of us and fills that void. He is the one who convicts us, guides us, cleanses us, grows us etc. God is at rest, and Jesus said "it is finished". Holy Spirit is the very real and active presence in our lives which is why you will hear and read of you yourself being called a temple. The Holy Spirit works with all the tools we have been given to make our journey peaceful, loving, wise and righteous. He works on our behalf, for our good and with all of the power of God. He comes to us by way of Jesus and we go to God by way of Jesus. It's a straight line from me to Heaven and a straight line from you to Heaven (if of course, Jesus is central in our lives).
When people accept Jesus as their saviour, there is a literal movement on the inside of them... a shift. You can actually feel it. Think of the pain of heartbreak - you actually feel it inside. The acceptance of Jesus as your Saviour isn't a heart break but it is just as real a feeling - usually people describe it as this incredible peace, like nothing they have ever felt before!
And you so begin a relationship with God... God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit... the Godhead... the Trinity.
Like any relationship, it takes getting to know the person, who they are, what their about etc, and the relationship with God is no different. It takes time, it takes interest, it takes commitment. No different than any interpersonal relationship you have. You won't get to know, if you don't spend time and if you're not interested.
In the Bible it actually says that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). So in all things, in all the voids we try to fill, in all the ups and downs, there is a purpose in it all for our good IF we love God. And loving God requires a relationship with Him THROUGH Jesus.
And before you write yourself off... know that we are ALL called. Jesus came for the world, not just the good, or the right, or the perfect, not the black or the white, not just the Catholics or the Jews... He came for everyone. And He came to fill that internal void inside with an internal presence, intimately, with us. He came for YOU.