to change them. We need to cut the blame-cord and take responsibility for ourselves.
And for this example, let's pick on our parents... they are an easy target to blame because we were actually shaped by them and what we experienced growing up around them.
But seriously, we need to ask ourselves how long we blame our parents for? It's not like they can undo 20, 30 or 40 years and recreate us, knowing what they know now.
Just like those of us who are parents now, they were probably doing the best they could with the knowledge and tools they had (hopefully) (and yes, I know there were some who probably didn't... But...)...
We need to stop blaming others for the things we do today.
The stopping of the blame-game starts with us. 'I don't want to be like this anymore' and 'I don't have to be like this anymore' are powerful statements that start of the journey of letting go, forgiveness and healing.
In Ephesians 1:4 it's says that Jesus chose us before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. We can be neither of those things, and we certainly aren't loving, if we are blaming.
Blaming keeps us trapped in the situation, no matter if it was yesterday or 50 years ago. Whether we had control over it or not. Blame anchors us 'there'.
Yes, I will agree that so many things are so unfair; but as long as we give the spirits of darkness control in our lives we, you and me, in and of own selves, will continue to suffer.
We can't say 'well, I'm a better mom than mine was; she kicked me out at 16 and mine are still at home at 20'. That's not the point... You aren't responsible for your mom's choices, you're responsible for your own. And in effect, you are justifying your own behaviour choices based on something someone else did to you - and that is blame.
We need to own our 'stuff'. Otherwise our 'stuff' owns us.
In John 10:10 Jesus says 'The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.' The thief is the devil and the spirits of darkness. And while he may appear alive and well on planet earth, we know that Jesus crushed him on the cross and He did so that we might have life abundantly.
What damages us more than anything that goes on around us, is what goes on inside of us... What we think, what we hang on to and what we harbour in our hearts. We can work and strive and compete and blame and still never feel good enough within ourselves.
Do you really want to give the thief the power to steal, kill and destroy your joy? Do you really want to go through life comparing yourself and never feel like you really measure up? Do you really want the blame you harbour to slowly kill your own soul?
Blame is the slow hurtful death of a beautiful person who was uniquely created to give the world something no one else could or can... it's a self inflicted death.
We don't have to do that though... WE have the choice and capacity to let go and grow beyond it.